Canada--the World's Asshat

 Now, this post is going to be as rage filled as last week's post, but hopefully far more articulate than last week's post. I've calmed down about 34%, so this will be 34% more coherent than last time. And as we just passed 800 page views, I assume someone is still reading this--out there, in the ether.

Alright, here we go.

Now, as for the title of this post. I've always loved being Canadian. I have--truly. I've always been proud of our diversity, health care, etc etc. You know, all the good stuff. But lately, I've been so full of #Canadashame I've wanted to vomit. Why, you ask? Well, because when it comes to the environment, Canada is fucking retarded--that's why.

Exhibit A. We keep trying to unload our epically lame, deadly, cancerous, tar sands bullshit oil on everyone. Keystone XL has major proponents in the states as well, but it's the Canadian federal government that is doing a large majority of the pushing here. Why? Because our whole federal cabinet is bought and paid for by big oil. I suppose that makes it the same as the states--but I feel exceptionally betrayed by this nonetheless. No one wants that fucking oil. If that pipeline goes through--it's game over for the climate, for the midwest, for the Canadian west, and for pretty much everyone. It's a really fucking stupid idea, is what I'm getting at here. #thanksalotCanada reason number 1.

Exhibit B. In my province, we are also having extreme difficulty with habitat destruction. Northern Ontario is environmentally rich, and for some reason the government has taken this to mean it should destroy all of that richness as quickly as possible. They want to put an outdated, inefficient septic sludge tank on the Gatineau River (voted the most beautiful waterway in Canada) [to help, visit: http://savethegatineau.com/], they want to build a quarry 3x the size of Niagara Falls in Northern Ontario so they can ship limestone to China and effectively destroy the drinking water of over 2 million people [to help, visit: https://www.facebook.com/no.mega.quarry] AND they want to tear down an old growth forest in the Wolf Lake Region named Temagami (it was SUPPOSED to become national park land) and open it all up to mining interests [stay tuned for where to help, I'm working on it]. So, needless to say, Ontario sucks really gross hairy balls right now when it comes to the environment. Ontario contains 25% of the WORLD'S freshwater, and it's like we're seeing how fast we can destroy it all. It's disgusting, is what it is. #thanksalotCanada reason number 2.

Oh, and then there's this:

http://old.news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20111212/ap_on_bi_ge/cn_canada_climate_change

Now, was the Kyoto agreement perfect? Nope, not by a long shot. BUT, the countries who did follow it saw a drastic decrease in emissions over the last 14 years. Canada, who has way few people but still manages to pollute the fuck out of everything, never tried to follow it in the first place, and now they are pulling out of it entirely. Sure, they have their bullshit reasons, but the real reason is that Peter Kent is an asshole. Mr. Kent, our beloved national environmental minister, is in the back pocket of Big Oil and would like nothing more than to have us dependent on fossil fuels forever--it puts more money in his pocket, you see. So, now that we've established that this guy is a total douche, we begin to see some of the reasons for the above environmental missteps (not the Ontario stuff though--that's a combination of the provincial government lacking a backbone and the mining laws being so outdated it's ridiculous). So, now the whole world hates Canada. Especially the island nations, that, you know, won't be here in 15 years due to sea level rise. Or, you know, Africa, which will experience droughts so severe that most of the people there will also die. But I mean, it's cool, as long as you have gas in your car it doesn't matter right? *epic facepalm* #thanksalotCanada reason number 3.

So, now that I'm seriously considering becoming an ex-pat and fleeing to countries who care about climate change (I'm looking at you, Australia, Germany, the UK and Norway), let's get us to some challenges!

Challenge 35: If you happen to be Canadian, stop letting this shit happen. I know some people don't vote because they feel uninformed--but you should get yourself informed and then vote. Idiots vote all the time--how do you think we get stuck with some of these politicians *cough Rick Perry cough* ? And if you are Canadian and do want to help, may I suggest 2 main things.
1. Spread the word. Tell 10 people about all of these atrocities, and then get them to tell 10 people. Some of this stuff hits real close to home. For instance, live in the GTA? Well then ALL OF this northern Ontario epically fucking with the water table stuff DIRECTLY affects you. Hear that? Get on it.
2. Contact these people who are making these asshat decisions and let them know that this isn't acceptable and that you won't stand for it. Here is some contact information, to guide you:

Canadian Minister of the Environment (he kind of looks evil, just sayin):
http://www.parl.gc.ca/membersofparliament/ProfileMP.aspx?Key=170520&Language=E

Ontario Environment Minister:
http://www.ene.gov.on.ca/environment/en/main/contacts/feedback/index.htm

Ontario Natural Resource Minister:
http://www.mnr.gov.on.ca/en/ContactUs/index.html?CSB_ic-name=topMenu&CSB_ic-info=contact-us_Eng

Ontario Minister of Northern Development & Mines:
http://www.mndm.gov.on.ca/contact_e.asp

Premier Dalton McGuinty:

https://correspondence.premier.gov.on.ca/en/feedback/default.aspx

Challenge 36: If you are not Canadian, don't let this shit happen in your country either. Call your senators, congressman, whoever and demand that it stop. They want power, and they want to stay elected, and if they think that might not happen, they'll change their mind.

Stop letting it happen. I know that some people don't like this stuff. And I'm sorry, but it's just too bad. We get walked on every day by massive conglomerates who want us to be poor, sick, and nature deprived. Enough is enough. Living by example is also of the utmost importance--but none of that matters if you die of poisoned drinking water because they deregulated cleaning it so a corporation could get more money. And I didn't make that up. It happens every day.

The line must be drawn here. This far. No further.

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